


We Belong Together

by goldieslove



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 03:56:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldieslove/pseuds/goldieslove
Summary: Jibeom encounters in ex boyfriend after years seperating in a completely different situation.





	We Belong Together

**Author's Note:**

> \- As always, I came with a messy plot and decided to write it and get lost in the middle, don't know how to continue it. I hope it's not weird  
> \- I envy authors who come out with great title!  
> \- I always love bongbeom ♡

It's strange how life works. Ten years ago, he was the boy who wore worn out shoes, old bag, old shirts that was bought with discounted price. This time, his pristine dress shirt screams money, while the boy who wore branded outfit ten years ago, now is standing in front of him with messy unkempt look. Funny how the table had turned.

It's not a secret that Jaehyun was rich, everybody at school knew about it. The boy was humble despite having super rich parents, but his appearance his belongings had always been blatantly expensive. Clear in his mind how people call them city mouse and country mouse.

The rich Bong Jaehyun, a heir of a big company, and the scholarship student from a small area in Busan, Kim Jibeom.

"Y-you.."

The surprise expression changes into a coy look, Jibeom doesn't know how to feel about that. He has never seen that kind expression on Jaehyun's face. For a short moment, he thinks that the man in front of him is not Jaehyun, but someone who has the same face.

"It's been a while, Jibeom-ah."

The voice that he often heard, that he loved it very much.. It's been so long..

"Jaehyun-ah," He calls although still disbelieve that the man in front of him is the same person as the boy in his past.

The smile on that face confirms it. The man in front of him is Jaehyun, his first love.

*****

"Jibeom-ah, let's go watch movie after school."

The corridor was busy, and he was trying to walk without bumping other students. Jaehyun was trying to match his footsteps while talking. 

"What movie?" He pulled Jaehyun closer so the boy won't bump into other student.

"The Nun!"

He groaned. "Jae, you know I can't watch horror movie."

"The review says it's not that scary," Jaehyun excitedly chattered. "It gives surprises, but not that much."

"That's what you said a few weeks ago when you asked me to watch Gonjiam."

"You almost peed on your pants," Jaehyun giggled and Jibeom shoved the boy in annoyance.

"Stop embarrassing me," He grumbled.

"Sorry, Jibeom-ah," Jaehyun grinned innocently. "But I'm bored, I want to watch movie."

"Then go with your other friend."

"But I want to go with you."

Jibeom almost halted on his step. Jaehyun only mumbled, but he could hear it clearly. His heart started to race. 

"How about The Breakup?" Suddenly Jaehyun's eyes sparkled again as he suggested the idea.

"What movie is that?" He asked, still focusing in front of him while sauntering Jaehyun once in a while to right or left to avoid bumping into other students. "Hey, watch out."

Jaehyun ignored him and kept on rambling instead. "It's about a pair of lovers who break up and then meet again a few years later. Then when they're going back together, the girl is diagnosed with brain cancer."

"You don't like that kind of movie."

"But you like it."

Jibeom stopped midway, looking at his best friend who was looking at him back with bright eyes. His cheeks flushed.

"You..," He started hesitantly. "Because of me.. You want to watch it?"

Jaehyun smiled wide and nodded.

Everybody knew Jaehyun was a movie mania. He loved to watch movies, but couldn't stand mellow romantic movie. He said he hated that those movies made him cry. In the contrary, Jibeom love those kind of movies. For Jaehyun to want to watch romantic drama for him, made Jibeom felt special.

Jibeom had had a crush on his best friend for a very long time, but this time, he's sure he's in love.

*****

"What is this?" 

Jibeom peeked over the paper bag and sighed. "Jaehyun, I've told you.. Please don't do this.."

"Why?" Jaehyun casually sat down on his seat beside him. "You don't like it?"

"What- No that's not what I mean, I like it but you don't have to. And you've done this so many times-"

Jaehyun leant closer, making Jibeom moved his head to the back to give their face some space.

"Have you eaten breakfast?"

"…"

"You haven't right!" Jaehyun looked upset.

"I have!" Jibeom exclaimed.

"What did you have for breakfast?"

"Milk."

Jaehyun sighed and reached inside the paper bag, taking out a triangle kimbap. "You study so hard, you even have part time job in the mart, you should eat a lot," He unwrapped the kimbap and offered it to his best friend. "You eat so little. Probably that's why you're so skinny and you often have nosebleed."

Jibeom keeps his mouth shut, momentarily forgot how to speak as he's touched with Jaehyun's action and words. 

"You're quiet because it's true right. Hm, you're really something, Kim Jibeom," Jaehyun kept on rambling while opening a bottle of orange juice and put it in front of Jibeom.

"Y-you sound like my mom," He tried to laugh it off, but then he smiled genuinely at Jaehyun. "Thanks, Jaehyun-ah."

Jaehyun smiled too. "What to do. Your mom is so far in Busan. Maybe I have to be your mom when you're here."

Jibeom's mouth was full of kimbap so he just nudged Jaehyun as a sign of complain. Jaehyun laughed.

Jibeom always loved to see Jaehyun laughing. His eyes and nose would crinkled cutely, and he thing he loved the most was the sound of his laughter. Jibeom found himself smiling dumbly at Jaehyun's laughter.

"Ya, stop laughing," He chuckled.

"Seriously Jibeom.." Jaehyun's laughter faded. "Eat a lot."

"I know, don't worry about me."

"How not to worry if you're reckless like this," He heard Jaehyun muttered under his breath. Jibeom had to bit his inner cheek to stop himself from grinning. Jaehyun worried about him. It's cute and heart fluttering.

*****

It started with a graze on his fingertips. The accidental touch sent shiver to his spine. However, he tried to act cool. He didn't even retract his hand. The touch was nice, and what's nicer was Jaehyun didn't retract his hand either.

His eyes were still glued on the screen, and when he secretly glanced at his friend, Jaehyun too was still focusing on the screen. However, it was clear that Jaehyun's body was tense. His eyes might have directed to the screen, but it lacked focus.

Jibeom didn't want to be overconfident, but he really thought Jaehyun liked him back. The signs were obvious. Jaehyun treated him so well more than his other friends, Jaehyun prioritized him in everything and tried to please him. With that thought, he made a move. He was shaking in nervousness as he slowly brought their hands together.

He felt Jaehyun twitched but didn't push him away. Feeling braver, he laced their fingers. The light was shining on Jaehyun's face when he took a glance at the boy. Jaehyun's eyes were still fixed to the front but the shy smile on his face.

"Is this okay?" He whispered uncertainly, afraid that he'd caught wrong signal and made Jaehyun uncomfortable.

Jaehyun looked down first, but then he looked up and sent him a shaky smile.

"Yeah."

Just a small whisper, but it meant everything for Jibeom. It was hard to hide his happiness, so he ended up grinning like a fool until his cheeks hurt. Jaehyun had similar expression on his face, and although he couldn't see it, he can imagine Jaehyun blushing, pink color dusting his squishy cheeks.

They held hand until the movie ended.

*****

"You're so pretty."

The light casted on Jaehyun's face, wind blowing that soft brown hair, Jaehyun looked so lovely and pretty. The words just blurted out from his mouth. He meant what he said, but it didn't make him less embarrassed of himself. He sounded cheesy. However, the after effect was worth it.

Jaehyun eyed him widely, then immediately turned his head away. The red color creeping on his ears gave out how shy he was. Huge grin appeared on Jibeom's face.

"What are you saying huh.. Saying things like that- so suddenly-" Jaehyun mumbled incoherently, making him looked even cuter.

"Why are you so shy?"

Jaehyun hit his chest and glared at him. The glare wasn't scary at all. "You're annoying."

"You don't like me complimenting you?" He teased the boy.

With cheeks still flushed, Jaehyun huffed. "It sounds weird coming out from you."

"You didn't say you dislike it."

Jaehyun sighed in defeat. "Please stop teasing me."

Jibeom gave Jaehyun his mercy and simply laughed. "Okay, I'm sorry."

He took Jaehyun's hand and held it tight. It's still a bit awkward, but they had gotten used to it. Like in reflex, Jaehyun didn't waste a second to held his hand back. 

It was the first time for both of them to have this kind of relationship. Jibeom had had crush on 1 or 2 people in his life, but only this time, he confessed and got his feeling returned. He knew same goes with Jaehyun. They boy was quiet and shy, and based of Jaehyun's shy confession, he was Jaehyun's first love.

Everything was new to them. Everything was beautiful and sparkly. The simple gesture was enough to make both of them smile. With their hair blown by the wind as they sat on concrete floor of the rooftop, watching the cloud ever so slightly moved, Jibeom wished they could stay like that forever.

*****

Their first kiss was awkward. It was unplanned and they were both inexperienced. 

"Hey, Jibeom," Jaehyun called from the couch, legs folded.

"What?" Jibeom answered without looking back. He wanted to finish washing the dishes as soon as possible.

"What took you so long?"

Jibeom rolled his eyes. "It's barely a minute."

Soft sound of Jaehyun's barefoot steps came closer, and not long after Jibeom felt Jaehyun pressed his body to his back. A warm feeling spread all over his body as the fondness of his lover surged within him. He liked when Jaehyun being clingy like this.

"What's wrong with you," He chuckles. "Are you sleepy?"

"I miss you."

Jibeom bit his inner cheek. "You're so weird. You say you miss me when we've just having ramen together?"

"You were so busy lately because of the math competition."

"We are classmates. You sit beside me in class."

"But you've never spent break with me lately."

Jibeom put the last bowl to the drying rack and dry his hand before turning around.

"Sorry," He sincerely apologized. "But the competition is next week, then I'll do anything what you want, how about it?"

Jaehyun didn't answer, only burying his head on Jibeom's neck. Jibeom chuckles and patted his lover's back.

"What's wrong hm?" Then suddenly his brows furrowed. "Do you have a problem? Tell me."

"I just miss you."

With elated heart, Jibeom peeled Jaehyun off his body. He almost cooed at Jaehyun's soft sulking face.

"You're super clingy today, it's cute."

Jaehyun sighed. "You like your math book more than me."

Jibeom laughed. "Seriously? Jaehyun? How can I like my math book more? You're more good looking than it."

"But you keep looking at it, even when I came here, you ignored me for an hour."

"I have to finish the math worksheets today," Jibeom chuckled. "I've told you right."

Jaehyun's cheeks flushed. "But still.."

"I like you the most," Jibeom suddenly said. "I'm sorry for not having much time for you, but.. I hope I can win this competition so you can be proud of me."

Jaehyun's expression changed. "Jibeom.. You know I've always been so proud of you."

Jibeom put his palm on Jaehyun's cheek, cradling it softly. "Thank you."

The both exchanged smile, and somehow Jibeom thought it's the time. They had never kissed before, but it felt like the perfect time. He swallowed, looking at Jaehyun's plump lips, debating whether he should do it or not. 

Jaehyun seems like understand what he's thinking. His big doe eyes staring back at Jibeom, like giving permission.

Jibeom brought his face closer and tilted his head a bit to the right…

"Oh.." Their nose bumped as Jaehyun also tilted his head to the same direction.

In instinct, he tilted his head to the other side. Jaehyun unintentionally mirrored his action. Jibeom chuckled, and cupped Jaehyun's face with both of his hand.

"Just stay like this," He said before he brought their lips touch.

Jibeom felt like his heart was going to burst from the intensity, feeling Jaehyun's soft lips on his own slightly chapped lips. He was too afraid to move, so he just pressed their lips for a few seconds before pulling back.

The shy smile mixed with happiness on Jaehyun's face made him forget all the troubles he had.

Their first kiss was awkward, but it's perfect.

*****

"Jibeom! Why are you like this?" 

Jibeom stopped dead on his track and furiously turned around.

"Why am I like this?" He said incredulously. "You ask me why?"

Jaehyun was perplexed. "Jibeom.."

Engulfed with anger, he had lost rationality. "Did you plug your ears? Didn't you hear what your father said about my parents?"

"Please, Jibeom, it's just misunderstanding. I believe father-"

"Misunderstanding you said??"

At that time, Jaehyun was in the verge of crying. Catching the sight of his lover's glistened eyes, Jibeom ran his fingers through is hair in frustration. The sticky texture of his hair because of hair gel made him sick. He especially bought and used it to make him look presentable in front of Jaehyun's parents. He even bought a new outfit for this occasion. After 1 year in relationship, Jaehyun brought up the idea of introducing him to his parents. He was scared, feeling inferior because of the gap of their social status, added with rumor how proud Jaehyun's parents are, but he tried to be brave and confident, for the sake of Jaehyun. 

He felt stupid.

"Your father insulted my parents," Jibeom gave pressure to each word. "You heard him clearly!"

"Jibeom, please forgive him. I'll talk to him I promise."

He laughed mockingly. "Do you expect him to apologize to me?"

"Jibeom-"

"Bastard!"

It was the first time he cussed, he was beyond angry. His innocent parents who worked so hard so he can get good education.. Jaehyun's father dared to insult them right in front of his face. His heart and pride was wounded. He couldn't forgive him.

"Jibeom!" Jaehyun gasped in shock. "Jibeom.. He's.. He's my father!"

"So what?" He spat back. "Feeling hurt? Angry? Then you know how I feel!"

Jaehyun's chest was heaving. Too many emotion swirled inside him, but most of all, it hurt.

"I.. I don't think we can continue this."

The silence that followed afterward was deafening. It's Jaehyun who broke it.

"J-Jibeom.. please, we can talk it out."

There's fear on Jaehyun's eyes, it broke Jibeom apart. But he was too blind with anger. Whatever happened, if he's asked to choose between his parents and Jaehyun, he'll definitely choose his parents. He couldn't stand to hear his parents being belittled just because they're not gifted with wealth. However he saw it, he couldn't see a future of him with Jaehyun, not when Jaehyun's father acting like this.

"Let's just end this."

"Jibeom, don't be like this," Jaehyun pleaded, clutching his jacket.

"Jaehyun, it's pointless!" He shrugged his lover off, clenching in fist as his heart twisted painfully at Jaehyun's pained look. "Your father won't approve me. He made it clear just now."

"Let me talk to him, please, Jibeom. Hm?" 

He hated Jaehyun begging him. 

"Just forget it, Jaehyun!" He shouted, letting his frustration out. Jaehyun immediately shut up. "Just leave me alone!"

It was the end of their short happiness.

*****

Jibeom remembered people talked behind his back. Rumors spread how he and Jaehyun suddenly became strangers. Jaehyun had begged him, asked him to stay, but he rejected each time. His pride forbid him no matter his heart cried painfully. 

He loved Jaehyun, but he should have realized sooner, real life is different from fairytale. He shouldn't have even dreamed of having Jaehyun. They're too different, like water and oil, they're bound to be separated anyway.

Jaehyun gave up after some time. It was nearing graduation time, when Jibeom received news that he was granted a scholarship in US.

With the encouragement from his parents, he left Korea, leaving the heartbreak, leaving Jaehyun without a proper goodbye.

*****

Jaehyun is still pretty. He's even prettier. Jaehyun has gotten thinner, that's for sure. The chubby cheeks are gone, and his face turns more matured and defined. 

Jaehyun's jet black hair is long and messy, his fringe which length reaching the tip of his nose, is parted in the middle. Black jeans is hanging low on Jaehyun's bony waist, and some skin showing from the parting of his blouse. 

Aside from his appearance, what changes the most in Jaehyun is his aura. No traces of shyness and innocence, replaced with this sultry, bad boy aura. It's extremely attractive, but Jibeom is freaking out at the change.

"Is there something on my face?"

Jibeom is snapped out from his daze, and finds Jaehyun looking back at him with a smirk. 

"Y-You.."

"The last time I saw you, you don't have stuttering problem, Jibeom-ah," Jaehyun says lightly. 

Something like knocks him in the lungs. The cynical remark, the mention of their past and how easily Jaehyun talks about it like it's nothing.. His hands tremble.

"H-how have you been?" He manages to croak out.

Something flashes in Jaehyun's eyes. For a second, that smirk falters. "Why do you even care."

Jibeom hates the mocking tone. It sends a jab right into his heart. Yes, he admits he left without saying goodbye. After that fight, everything changed, he doesn't even remember the last time he talked to Jaehyun. It didn't mean he didn't feel hurt, it didn't mean he didn't love and didn't miss Jaehyun so much while they're apart.

He thought he'll forget his first love as time will make it fade it away. But meeting Jaehyun again brings back old memories. The love he's been buried deep inside his heart is threatening to resurface. The love is still there. He can feel it.

"I… I'm…"

Jaehyun waves his hand, signaling he's not interested hearing what he's going to say.

"Well, it's nice meeting you again, but I'm busy right now."

"Wait!"

In instinct, he grabs Jaehyun's hand to prevent him from leaving. Sparks explodes in his stomach when they touch, but a surprise is waiting for him. He doesn't expect Jaehyun to shove his hand away. Hard. He freezes, as well as Jaehyun. Jibeom knows, based on the reaction, Jaehyun didn't mean to shove him that hard. For a second, he sees the old Jaehyun.

"I'm sorry- I just-"

Jaehyun shakes his head, stopping Jibeom from talking. The man keeps his hand on his side as if afraid making contact with him again. "What do you want?"

What does he want? He doesn't know either.

"C-can we talk?"

Jaehyun's lips curls up. "What changed Jibeom-ah. I thought you don't want to talk to me anymore."

"Jaehyun," He calls his ex lover exasperatedly. "It's-"

"I'd rather we stay like that."

Jaehyun's icy tone makes him unable to move. He can only stares desperately at Jaehyun's retreating back.

*****

There are so many questions he wants to ask, so many things he wants to hear from Jaehyun. He wants to know whether he's okay, and why does he change so much.

His meeting with Jaehyun after 10 years is leaving him in a mess. He can't keep calm, and can't stop cursing himself for letting Jaehyun leave just like that. But.. What right does he have to stop him? Jaehyun has every right to get angry at him.

As he grew up and spent his time in US, he found himself regretting his action. He still can't forgive Jaehyun's father, but he shouldn't have lashed out at Jaehyun like that. He has known Jaehyun for years, he knows Jaehyun wouldn't condone his father's behavior. To think about it, he must have felt hurt too.

He spent years regretting his harsh reaction, but having no courage to send message to apologize. He thought maybe he better leave it that way. Jaehyun probably had found someone new and forget about him, and he will forget Jaehyun too, sooner or later.

Unfortunately, 10 years passed, and Jaehyun is still the only one for him.

*****

"Yo, not going home yet?"

Jibeom leans back on his working chair, stretching his body. The sun has down, and everybody has left. Being a financial analyst gives him huge salary, but also a long working hours. 

"Oh, hyung," He greets Youngtaek, his senior. "I'll go home in a bit."

"Not done yet?"

Jibeom sends a pitiful look. "There's problem with my computer this morning and it took hours for the IT guy to fix it."

"Oh, man, that's bad," Youngtaek clicks his tongue in sympathy.

Jibeom likes this senior. Although he's older and ranked higher in the company, the man always treats him like friends. He doesn't even try to keep a good image in front of him. Youngtaek talks and does everything he wants.

"I don't know should I say 'Thanks god tomorrow is Saturday' or 'Sorry you have to work overnight on Friday night'."

Jibeom grins. "Probably the first one."

"Live a life!" The man says dramatically. "You're still young! Have some fun will you? Don't just spend your time working."

"I will," Jibeom relents. The conversation will go on if he argues. "I'll drop by to send the files tomorrow, is that alright, hyung? You need to review it before meeting on Monday."

Youngtaek waves his hand in dismissal. "No need.. I'll just review it on Monday morning."

Jibeom laughs. "Hyung, be serious for once."

He gets a smile in return. "Alright. But text me when you're going to come."

"I'll just pass it to the security guard downstairs, hyung. I know you won't stay at home on Saturday."

His senior laughs and wiggles his eyebrows. "You know me, but I can have my fun at home too."

Jibeom awkwardly laughs in response. It is not a secret that his senior, although an easygoing and kindhearted, likes clubbing and rumors say sometimes he would hook up with random guys.

"I won't disturb you then."

Youngtaek only grins. "Okay, Jibeom, finish soon and go home."

*****

"Thanks for today."

His body refuses to move as he sees the scene unfold before him. A hundred meter in front of him are Youngtaek and Jaehyun. What a funny coincidence. Then like being hit by lightning, he stiffened. What's the relationship between those too? Is Jaehyun-

"See you!" Youngtaek waves as Jaehyun walks away.

Youngtaek stands there, watching Jaehyun's retreating back. A few seconds later, when Youngtaek turned to walk back to his apartment, he spots Jibeom.

"Hey!" Youngtaek gestured for him to come closer. "Why are you standing there?"

With awkward steps, Jibeom walks closer. 

"How long have you been standing there?" Youngtaek asks in confusion.

"That guy," Jibeom blurts out.

A light of understanding flashes on Youngtaek's eyes. "Ahh.." The man laughs. "Did you afraid to disturb us? You're funny, Kim Jibeom."

Jibeom glances at the direction where Jaehyun left. "He is.." He leaves his words hanging. Youngtaek understands and laughs again.

"He's not like what you think. He's the pizza delivery boy," Youngtaek wheezes.

"D-delivery man?" Jibeom's heart feels like stop beating. Jaehyun the chaebol.. a delivery man? "Are you serious?"

"What's with your reaction?" Youngtaek looks at him weirdly. 

Jibeon sputters. "But.. But why did you send him away like this?"

Youngtaek chuckles. "Ah, it's nothing. He's just very pretty, I like him, so I just pretend I need to go somewhere and go down with him."

Jibeom keeps silent, his mind is running wild. What had happened with Jaehyun? Why?

"Hey," Youngtaek waves his hand in front of his eyes. "Why? You like him?" The man chuckles and sends a suggestive look. "He works for Daily Pizza. If you're interested in him you can order delivery and get him deliver pizza to your place. But don't get your hope high. I think he's straight."

"Huh?"

The senior rests his arms on his hips. "I tried to woo him a few times but he didn't even bat an eyelash."

There's something raging inside his heart imagining Youngtaek trying to flirt with Jaehyun.

"Kim Jibeom, you're seriously weird today," Youngtaek's words woke him up from his troubled mind. "Your brain must have problem because you overwork."

When he says nothing at all, Youngtaek takes the file on his hand and pats his arm. "Do you want to come in and eat pizza? I bought a large one."

Jibeom unconsciously takes a step back. "Thanks hyung, but I think you're right.. I need some rest."

"Are you okay?" Youngtaek asks worriedly. "You're.. kind of pale."

He forces a smile. "Yes, I'm fine, I'll.. I'll head home now."

Although still worried, Youngtaek decides to let it go. "If you're sure.."

"See you on Monday, hyung."

Youngtaek nods. "Thanks for this," He waves the file in the air.

Jibeom bows and turns around.

*****

"Hello. Daily Pizza here, how can I help you?"

Jibeom swallows. His looks at the laptop in front of him, showing the website of the store.

"Ah yes, I want to have a delivery order please."

He randomly picks a menu using fake name and anxiously waits for the order to come. It's stupid, the pizza shop would have more than 1 delivery man and it might not be the man who he wishes to come who will deliver his order. But he makes a promise to himself. If Jaehyun comes, he won't repeat the same mistake. He won't let Jaehyun leave without any explanation.

When the clock strikes 7, the doorbell rings. Jibeom didn't bother checking the intercom and runs to the door and slams it open. The time stops for a while as he's face to face with his ex lover. Jaehyun's stunned face stares back at him before glancing at the door number.

"Hong Joochan?"

"That's me," Jibeom admitted.

A disbelieve chuckle escapes from Jaehyun lips. A second later, a box of pizza is shoved right to his face. "It's 20.000 won."

The analyst takes a deep breath and calmly received the box. "Come in for a while," He says, retreating back to his apartment but keep the door open. 

"I'm going to take my wallet," He adds when Jaehyun lifts his brows.

"I'll wait here."

"Jaehyun," He calls. "Please."

Jaehyun stuffs his hands into his pocket, refusing to meet his eyes but steps inside. "I'm in hurry."

Jibeom sighs but relents. Jaehyun was leaning on the wall near the door when he comes back. Jibeom has to admit he's mesmerized. 

He's beautiful. The bad boy image is alluring.

Jaehyun straightens his body and lifts up his hand. However, Jibeom grips the money and takes it out from Jaehyun's reach, refuse to give him the money easily.

"Promise me we'll talk."

Annoyed. It's written on Jaehyun's face. "Look, I have no time for this game-" He says before suddenly his eyes narrows. "Did you plan this? How did you know-"

"I saw you yesterday," He decides to come clean so Jaehyun won't think he's a creep. "Son Youngtaek is my colleague. I saw you when I went to his apartment."

Jaehyun snorts, clearly not amused. He mutters something under his breath before looking up. "What do you want to talk about?"

"We can talk? Now?"

Sighing, Jaehyun says. "Yes, but not make it long."

Jaehyun's reluctance to talk to him makes Jibeom hurt. Before this, they were best friends who spent the whole day talking and having fun.

"But I can already guess what you want to talk about," Jaehyun beats him around the bush. "You must have wanted to know why I become like this isn't it?"

Jibeom blinks. The straightforwardness throws him off guard. Yes, he wants to ask that, but there are other things too.

"I… Yes.. But.."

"I heard you went to US, you must haven't read news," Jaehyun chuckles bitterly. "My father is jailed. Doing illegal business or something. The money.. I don't know what he did with the money."

Jibeom gapes. "When?"

Jaehyun turns his head away. "Long ago. A few months after high school graduation I think."

The revelation is shocking, especially it happened long time ago. "Y-your mother?"

Jaehyun keeps his mouth shut. Jibeom could see his slim frame trembles. 

"Jaehyun-"

"You know what," Jaehyun interrupts. "Forget it, just keep the money I don't care."

Just like last time, Jaehyun turns on his heels, ready to open the door.

In panic, Jibeom runs and blocks the man and pushes him back. "Wait, don't leave."

"What?" Jaehyun challenges. His eyes narrows in anger but Jibeom can see the moistness on those eyes. "You like it right. Are you happy?"

Shock. Jibeom can't believe those words come out from Jaehyun's mouth.

"Jaehyun! What are you talking about? I'm not-"

"You hate my father, you must be happy he's suffering now."

"How can you think like that?" He is angry and frustrated. "Not even a second I think of that! What are you thinking?"

"Liar!" Jaehyun growls and Jibeom steps back, his back hitting the door. This Jaehyun, is not his Jaehyun. 

"Now laugh all you want I don't care."

Jibeom stumbles at the hard push from Jaehyun, but he balances himself quickly and catches Jaehyun's shoulders. This time he grabs hard leaving no chance for Jaehyun to walk away.

"Get off!"

"No, until you listen to me!" Jibeom hisses.

"I don't want to listen to you!"

"You're wrong and there's not an inch of me feeling happy of your family's misfortune, okay."

Jaehyun stops struggling but sends a feral look. "Oh yeah? And you think I'll believe you?"

"Jaehyun, calm down please!" Jibeom desperately says. "Please! Let's just talk calmly."

Jaehyun snorts. "I don't think there's anymore to talk. You've made it clear-"

"I'm sorry!" He quickly says. "I'm so sorry for what I've done. I was angry and think irrationally-"

"Jibeom!" Jaehyun's loud voice stops his apology. His breath hitches watching Jaehyun breathing rapidly like he's just running a mile. His jaw clenches tight. "I don't want to hear anything from you, do you understand?"

Jibeom feels losing his balance from a hard shove from Jaehyun. The next thing he knows, pain shoots through his hand. Both of them stared in shock as blood starting to ooze from Jibeom's palm. The handle on the shoe rack scraps the skin. Jibeom has been wanting to fix it but still haven't found a chance to do it.

The blood is not much but it pretty much covers his right hand.

Their gaze accidentally meets. Jaehyun's face is pale as paper. 

"Jae-"

He hasn't even finished calling the name but Jaehyun was yanked the door open and runs away.

*****

"Welcome to Daily Pizza. How can I help you?"

A boy with small eyes and cute smile welcomes him in the counter. His nametag, Donghyun, sparkles on his chest. Jibeom looks around, thankful that the restaurant is rather empty.

"Hm.."Jibeom chews his lips, praying that he's not making a wrong move. "I'm looking for Jaehyun.. You know.. The delivery man."

The smile slowly vanishes from the boy's face. Suddenly in front of him is a frowning boy.

"What's your business with Jaehyun hyung?"

The hostile tone makes Jibeom taken aback. "Hm.. There's something I need to give to him."

"Well," Donghyun holds out his hand. "You can give it to me. I'll make sure I'll give it to him later."

Jibeom shifts hesitantly. "Um, I want to give it to him personally, if you don't mind."

The boy clicks his tongue and rests his hand on his hip. "Mister, don't you believe me? I won't take whatever you want to give Jaehyun hyung. I'm not a thief."

"That's not what I mean," JIbeom quickly says. "But.. Fine.. I'm here to give this to him."

He put some money on the counter with his uninjured hand. Donghyun stares blankly at the money. "What's this?"

"Jaehyun delivered pizza to my place yesterday, and something happened, he forgot to take the money."

Donghyun tilts his head to the side. "He brought back the money though," The boy mutters. He then looks up. "What happened yesterday?"

Jibeom licks his lips. "It's rather personal."

Donghyun's eyes narrows. "That makes you suspicious, mister."

"He's my high school friend," Jibeom explains. He's not comfortable telling this to a stranger, but it can't be helped it if he wants to convince Donghyun. "We talked and it didn't end really well. I need to give the money and apologize."

With the same bored expression, Donghyun says, "That's an old excuse. Please just go-"

The door jingles and both of them turn their head towards the door in instinct. Jaehyun stops dead for a few seconds before turning away. Cursing under his breath, Jibeom throws the money to the counter and runs to follow his ex lover.

"Jaehyun!" He calls out, and thankful when Jaehyun stops right in front of a closed clothing store. He jogs towards the man and stands right in front of Jaehyun.

He catches Jaehyun's eyes glancing at his injured hand, amd a tiny happiness sparks in his heart at the thought that probably Jaehyun still cares.

"I'm sorry for last night," He says quickly while he can. "It was insensitive of me, and although I want to know how you're doing now, there's something more important that I want to talk to you. It's something that has been burdening me for years."

Jaehyun is still expressionless but doesn't show sign of running away.

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have hurting you like that. I was angry at your father but I let my frustration against you and it's wrong. It shouldn't be an excuse. But my father drive cabs and my mother do any kind of work just for me to get high education, I can't let anyone look down on them."

Jaehyun sniffs and looks down. 

"Jaehyun," He calls again, softer this time, when he gets no respond. "I'm very sorry."

"Same as you," Jaehyun suddenly said lowly. "I don't want anyone talk bad to my father. He's not a saint, he might be a terrible person, but I can't take it when someone else talk bad about him. He's the one who raises me after all."

Jaehyun forces a smile but it's the most sincere smile Jibeom has seen since they meet again after long years. It makes his heart aches.

"If you feel sorry, then just count it even. My father hurt you, I apologize."

"Jae-"

"If that's all.. You don't have to look for me anymore."

Jibeom feels his heart drop to the ground. "Can we.." He stops, suddenly feel hesitate. It would be so selfish to suggest them to make up.

"Jibeom," He looks up to find Jaehyun staring at him intently. "It was hard for me, but I'm getting hang on it. Please don't make it complicated."

Jibeom blinks, he doesn't think it will hurt that much. He's Jaehyun's closest friend during their school days, but he'd left when Jaehyun needed him the most. What right he has now to mend their relationship.

"I.. I regret it so much that I couldn't be there for you-"

"How will it make difference now," Jaehyun shakes his head. "I passed through it, it doesn't matter anymore. Stop talking about it."

"Let me make it up to you."

The words are just blurted out from his mouth. Jaehyun looks stunned for a second. 

"How," A mocking tone lacing Jaehyun's words. "Let just get over it, Jibeom. I survived the last 10 years without, so are you. Just keep it that way."

"You're still a special person to me," Jibeom confesses. "I don't like seeing you like this-"

"Like what?" Jaehyun's face hardens and Jibeom knows he has said wrong things.

"I just want to see you happy."

"I'll be happy if you leave me alone," Jaehyun snaps, finally letting out his emotion to show. "So go away. Let's not meet again."

*****

"Hey, mister.."

Jibeom looks up from his laptop, and greeted by Donghyun's small eyes. "Oh, hey."

Donghyun sighs. "Mister, I'm thankful you come everyday and buy our pizza. But this is not healthy. Don't eat pizza everyday. Eat something else!"

Jibeom scrunches his nose. "I like pizza. And you have various toppings."

Donghyun is looking at him weirdly like he's growing another head. "You're really something, mister. Why don't you give up already?"

Jibeom turns silent, making the boy looking at him with pity. "I don't know what's your problem, but you're so persistent."

A smile ghosting his face. Donghyun who has been so hostile has recently softened up to him. If only Jaehyun too..

"Whatever, I'm going to work now."

"Wait.."

Donghyun stops wiping the table beside him and stands, waiting.

"Will he come today?"

Donghyun rolls his eyes. "Not again. Aren't you bored asking me that? And yes, of course he's coming. And I've told you he'll come at 7, and now is not even 7."

Donghyun revealed that Jaehyun has work somewhere else in the morning until evening and only do part time in the pizza store. The boy didn't disclose any more information, but Jibeom appreciate it. He grins. "Sorry, I'm just checking."

Donghyun sighs in frustration. "It's not even my problem but it makes me fed up. Mister, don't you think you won't make hyung even angrier by doing this? Do you forget he almost flipped table when he saw you here again yesterday?"

"I remember," Jibeom solemnly answer.

"Then?" Donghyun's voice raises by an octave. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'll keep on coming until he wants to talk to me."

That's what he's going to do. 

*****

"Mister.. Mister.. Wake up.."

Still disoriented, Jibeom squints. Donghyun's face is lounging in front of him.

"Mister.. It's closing time."

He groans. His temples are pulsating. He's been feeling a bit unwell this morning, that always happens when he lack sleep. But this time it hurts more than usual

"Are you okay, mister?"

"Yeah," He manages to say it. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Jibeom massages his head a bit and starting to gather his things. His laptop has turned into standby mode. "Sorry I overslept-"

"Oh my god, you're bleeding!"

He tastes copper as Donghyun shrieks. In instinct, he clamps his nose with his hand and looks up. It's bright, the lamp is blinding, his head starting to spin. 

"Here here."

A bunch of tissue is shoved to his face and he blindly grabs it and use it to block his nose. A pair of hand presses his nape gently. He breathes hard with his mouth as he's waiting the bleeding to stop. The gentle massage on his nape gives him great comfort. Slowly, the pounding headache decreases, leaving him with a dull throbbing on his temple. The bleeding is starting to stop too.

When he looks up, Donghyun's sitting opposite him, looking at him with worry. Confused, he looks to the side, finding his heart almost stops when he finds out it was Jawhyun who held him close while waiting his nosebleed to stop.

"Clean up your things and go home," Jaehyun says without looking at him.

"Is it okay to leave him by himself, hyung?"

"I'll send him home. Just help me bring this inside."

Jibeom gapes, silently watching Jaehyun clearing up the table. Donghyun hesitantly takes his half empty glass and empty plate to the kitchen while Jaehyun wipes the table.

"Quick," Jaehyun mutters silently, and like a doll, Jibeom obeys him. He put his laptop and files into his bag. 

It's like a blur. Going to washroom to wipe his face, bidding Donghyun goodbye, then walk back to his apartment with Jaehyun standing close on his side. Panic bubbling in his chest again when he unlocks the door, knowing that it's time to part. He doesn't want that. He grips Jaehyun's hand. 

"Stay for a while."

Jaehyun doesn't look annoyed, but he sounds firm. "You need rest."

"I'm fine. Jaehyun, I… I'm really really sorry.."

Jibeom is not sure why suddenly he cries. It's started with only some tears falling, until he bawls his eyes out. Probably because of his headache, probably how touched and guilty he is because Jaehyun whom he left during his hardest part, is now willing to help him.

The guilt probably will haunt him forever.

"Jibeom-ah.."

He cries like a kid, hiccupping until his chest hurt, but he doesn't let go of Jaehyun's hand. He can't stop saying sorry either.

*****

Jibeom wakes up with a jolt. His eyes feel heavy and swollen. But it's not important. He climbs off from bed and staggers out. His living room is empty, and he panics. 

"What are you doing?"

The voice startles him. He turns back, and there in front of the dining table, Jaehyun's standing awkwardly. The man is still wearing the outfit he's wearing yesterday. Jibeom lets out a deep exhale.

"You're still here."

Jaehyun turns his head to the side, refusing to meet his eyes. "You didn't want to release my hand yesterday.."

"I'm sorry."

"You've said that gazillion times."

"It won't never be enough."

Jaehyun glances at him and sighs. "I've told you to forget it."

"How can I forget it."

Jaehyun sucks a deep breath. "Come on, have your breakfast. I don't want to wipe your blood again."

The dining table is empty aside from 2 slices of bread with peanut butter on top. He remembers it's the leftover from yesterday.

"You don't have many food in the fridge and I don't dare to go out and buy since I don't know your passcode," Jaehyun says as he pours milk into a glass and slides it to a space near Jibeom's standing.

Jibeom stones for a while. It reminds him of their high school days. With awkward movement, he sits down, taking a piece of bread and slide the plate containing another piece if bread back to Jaehyun's direction. 

"You must haven't eaten too. I don't think I have other things to eat beside this."

Jaehyun scrunches his nose, but Jibeom can see a thin smile on his face. "You haven't changed at all, Jibeom-ah."

Jibeom feels weird. His stomach churning, thinking of the man in front of him. He has sudden urge to hold Jaehyun's hand. Glancing at the wall clock, he notices that it's almost time to work.

"Can I visit you again later?" He gathers his courage, wishing for no rejection.

Jaehyun hesitates, "For what?"

"I don't know, to catch up things," He shrugs.

"Why are you so adamant about keeping things up between us?" 

Jibeom licks his lips. "I've told you I'm sorry about everything, I want to make it up to you. You.. You're the reason why I survived high school-"

"I don't want your pity," Jaehyun stubbornly says, his brows crease in displease.

"Was it pity when you helped me back then?" Jibeom shoots back, making the other man freezes. "Did you buy breakfast for me because of pity? Did you help me in various kind of way because of pity? Did you become my friend because you pitied me?"

His voice raises when he finishes his words. His emotion has gotten into him. Jaehyun keeps quiet, looking at his bread absentmindedly. Jibeom knows he has hit the bull eye.

"You know it's not it," Jaehyun quietly says.

"Then you know what I feel right now."

Their eyes meet. For a while, they don't say anything, until finally Jaehyun breaks his eye contact.

"Where should we meet?"

Feeling overwhelmed with relief, Jibeom smiles. "Anywhere convenient for you. But.. Can you just give me your number?"

A few minutes later, with Jaehyun's number saved in his phone, Jibeom feels content. He starting to see a light in the dark tunnel.

*****

The chilly breeze of the night blows their hair. The river is quite crowded, but everyone is minding their own business. Jaehyun is looking to the front, to the river.

After some random talking and drinking cola, they've been quiet for a while. During the span of half an hour, he has learned that aside from the part time job in the pizza shop, Jaehyun is working in a warehouse in outskirt of Seoul during the day. 

He secretly skims over Jaehyun's figure. Although he's getting thinner, he can see some veins on his lower arms. His heart aches at the thought of Jaehyun's hardships all this time. It must be hard for Jaehyun who was born rich and being dotted all the time. 

"Are you cold?" He suddenly notices the slight shiver on Jaehyun's body when a strong wind blows. The other man is just wearing thin sweaters and jeans. Without getting respond, Jibeom takes off his jacket and drapes it over Jaehyun's shoulders.

Jaehyun jerks. "No, you keep them on."

"You're shivering," He points out. "And my sweater is thick enough, I feel a bit hot actually."

Jaehyun looks at him briefly before averting his gaze and mumbling "thank you."

There are so many things he wants to ask, but he knows it's hard for Jaehyun to say it out loud, so he decides to keep silent. He wants to cherish their togetherness for now.

"We used to hang out around here when you ditched private tutoring," He opens up the conversation. "You'll buy snacks and drink and we'll eat here."

Jaehyun snorts softly. "And you'll bring your book to study, ignoring me."

Jibeom is delighted to see Jaehyun responds lightly. "But I will end up shoving the book to my bag and listen to you."

"Now that you talk about it, I sound like a bad friend."

Jaehyun is smiling bitterly and suddenly Jibeom wants to knock his own head.

"I had great time, spending my days with you. Without you, I probably had gone crazy with all the study."

It's too late. He's killed the mood. Jaehyun looks gloomy. 

"I mean it," He adds. "I… cherish you.. a lot."

The mocking smile is back. "Yes, you do."

It partly offends him because he really does cherish Jaehyun. It's not just fake words. But he understands where Jaehyun comes from. 

"I'm serious-"

"Honestly," Jaehyun cuts him off. "Why are we talking about the past? Our past ended badly, you want to reminiscence bad things?"

"I still love you," Jibeom finally admits. Jaehyun tenses beside him. Jibeom is aware that it's so selfish of him to say that since he's the one who broke their relationship. But he still does love Jaehyun, and he needs to say it. "I thought I'll get over you, but after meeting you again, I just can't keep calm. I'm sorry towards you, but I want to see you, make sure you're okay and happy. It's.. it's complicated to say-"

"Jibeom," Jaehyun looks at him, his eyes are conflicted. "How can you say you still love me? We've lost contact for 10 years. I might have changed."

"You are still you, no matter what."

"How can you be so sure?"

Jibeom is taken aback. Suddenly his resolution wavering. Is there a reason why Jaehyun say that? But he pushes the thought to the back of his head.

"Then let me know you again."

Jaehyun refuses to look at him so he takes initiative to hold Jaehyun's hand. It's just like when they held hand for the first time in cinema, only this time Jaehyun tries to wiggle his hand away. 

"Please," Jibeom gently keep his hold, refusing to back down.

Jaehyun sighs. "I don't like you that way anymore."

It hurts, but Jibeom has a hunch the other man is lying. Jaehyun refuses to meet his eyes, and darting his eyes restlessly towards the ground.

"Say that while looking at my eyes and I'll stop right here right now."

He knows Jaehyun can't lie while looking at people's eyes. It's one charming thing about him, his innocence and honesty. However, Jibeom's worried that Jaehyun has really stopped liking him. The anxiety dies down when Jaehyun keeps on looking down.

"You're really making things hard for me."

"I'll do better," He says. "I promise I won't disappoint you. Please give us another chance."

"You still like me when I'm like this?" 

Suddenly there's a pang in his heart, thinking that Jaehyun has that kind of thought.

"Like what?" He asks quietly. "You're just you. You're Bong Jaehyun."

"You don't understand.. I-" Jaehyun stops midway, and Jibeom is waiting.

"You what?"

Jaehyun lets out a tired sigh. "It's nothing," Then he looks up. "It's better we'll stay like this, Jibeom-ah. I don't have time for that when I barely have time for myself."

There's finality in that tone, and Jibeom respects that although he's sad. He understands: Jaehyun is afraid. And what's worse is that he's the one who caused that. The only thing consoles him is to know he's still special person in Jaehyun's heart. For now, he'll accept that.

"Speaking of which, I have to go back now," Jaehyun shifts, ready to stand up. Jibeon quickly follows.

"Jaehyun-ah," He calls. "We still can be friends right? We can meet again? I really don't want to make the same mistake again. Please don't avoid me. I won't cross the line and make you uncomfortable, I swear."

Their relationship is still fragile, something he should be careful on. It feels like Jaehyun will leave once he make a mistake.

It takes a few seconds of doubting before Jaehyun nods. Jibeom can't describe how relieved he is. 

"Thank you."

*****

Jaehyun in stunning. Jibeom likes his long hair. He loves it when Jaehyun runs his fingers through his hair and brushes his hair back. It's a hard time for him trying not to stare. Jibeom rests his head on his palm, his other hand absentmindedly stirring his soup while his eyes are fixed to the man sitting in front of him.

"What?" Jaehyun mumbles, finally noticing his stare.

Jibeom bit his lips in embarrassment. "Sorry," He says.

Jaehyun stops eating and wipes his mouth with tissue. "Is there something on my face?"

He feels happy. After a few times meeting, feels like Jaehyun has slowly taken off his guard around him. There is like an uninvincible wall between them. He can understand Jaehyun's hesitation, and he is afraid to reach out first. Making Jaehyun uncomfortable is the last thing he wants.

"No, no. It's just.. Sometimes I still can't grasp how different you look now," He decides to give an honest answer.

"You look different too," Jaehyun says, but Jibeom thinks aside from his hair, he doesn't change at all. He unconsciously touches his exposed forehead.

"I hope I didn't change into worse."

Jaehyun gives him a small smile. "It suits you."

Feeling elated, he replies back. "You've gotten prettier."

Awkward. Suddenly the atmosphere turns awkward. Jaehyun avoids his stare, pretending not to hear. "I'm going to ask for some water."

"Oh you.."

Jibeom frowns at the man. The stranger seems to know Jaehyun and vice versa. However, it's obvious that Jaehyun is uncomfortable meeting with the man. Jibeom doesn't have good feeling about the man. He's handsome, probably in mid 30 or early 40, looks rich, but there's something on his eyes doesn't give good impression.

"Did you change your number?" The man asks. "I couldn't contact you."

"I.."

"Give me you phone number."

Jibeom hesitates to step in since he doesn't want to meddle with Jaehyun's problem but the sleazy man makes him uncomfortable. 

"I'm not doing it anymore," Jaehyun says in a small voice, his posture stiff.

The man laughs. "Are you serious? Come on.. We'll have a great time."

The man touches Jaehyun's shoulder, making him flinches.

"I said I'm not doing it anymore," Jaehyun says louder, shrugging the hand away. 

"What! You-" The man looks angry. Jaehyun stands up, and Jibeom stands up too. His movement catches the man's attention. He sneers.

"So you get yourself a boyfriend? That's why you stop?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Jaehyun snaps, but the man only smirks. 

"Does your boyfriend know about your job-"

The man is stopped by a sudden punch. Jibeom's eyes bulges out at the sight of Jaehyun sending the man to topple to the ground. 

"Jaehyun!" He rushes forward to hold him down. Jaehyun's body is shaking.

"You son of bitch!"

The man leaps up, but thankfully is stopped by someone. The restaurant turns into chaos.

"Slut! If you're so brave, tell you boyfriend how you sleeps with whoever paid you!"

He's stunned, but reacts fast enough to hold Jaehyun in place. 

"Why? Can't deny you're a slut?" The man shouts.

Apparently it's the last straw. Jaehyun spins and runs out from the restaurant. Everything is blurry, Jibeom's instinct is to chase Jaehyun, and that's what he does.

Jaehyun runs quite fast, but he successfully catches him near the subway station.

"Jaehyun-"

"What he said is true," Jaehyun suddenly says. His chest is heaving.

"Wha-"

Jaehyun meets his eyes. Those eyes are wet from unshed tears but there's determination in it.

"I had nothing. Mom left, dad's in jail. They took everything. The people I know and I trust.. They all ran away I have nowhere to go."

Jibeom feels his heart clenches in pain, realizing what Jaehyun is trying to say. "Jae, you don't have to-"

"Everybody was whispering behind my back. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how continue with my life. And suddenly.. Someone approached me, saying he has a job for me. I.. I was so desperate.. I.. took the job. I took the job even after I know what I had to do. It paid good and they gave me a place to stay. I.."

"Jaehyun.." He approaches him, but suddenly stops when Jaehyun takes a step back. 

"I slept with nameless guys, I even lost count how many they were. That guy was right. I slept with anyone who would pay for me. Up until 2 years ago.. That's what I did."

Jibeom feels the chill all over his body. The revelation is shocking that he suddenly loses control of himself. He can't believe Jaehyun would do such thing, but there's no way he's lying. And the guy just now also said the same thing.

"Jaehyun.. Please calm down."

Despite his shock, he tries to be calm. He has to, especially Jaehyun looks like he's freaking out. He takes another step, and Jaehyun takes another step back.

His heart feels like dropping to the ground this time. 

"It's okay, it's okay," He says despite the turmoil in his heart. "I understand."

Jaehyun's chest is rising and falling rapidly to the point Jibeom worries he's not breathing properly.

"Jaehyun, relax," He slowly stretches out his hand, and in fast movement, he pulls Jaehyun into a hug. The other man struggles, but Jibeom doesn't want to let go.

They stand like that for a while, and Jibeom is thankful that slowly, Jaehyun's breath evens out. People pass by and give them weird stare. Jibeom drags Jaehyun to a nearby alley where there's no people around.

"Relax, it's okay," He says over and over.

"How can you say it's okay." After a while, Jaehyun murmurs quietly. His voice trembles, full of caution.

Jibeom breathes out. It's breaking him, but he understands. "More than anything, I'm so sorry for not being there for you."

Jaehyun pushes him away, his face is devastated. "You know, Jibeom, it was hard for me to live like this, but it's harder for me to know that you know the now me. I spent days crying, wishing you were with me, but now, I don't want you to see me like this, Jibeom."

"There's nothing you should be embarrassed of in front of me?" He firmly said. "Jaehyun," His tone is desperate. "You know I won't judge you."

"I'm dirty, Jibeom," Jaehyun wipes his wet face. "I did dirty job, it even gives me bad dreams, haunting me every day and night, I-"

He hugs Jaehyun to stop him from talking. He has no words to say, he doesn't know how to console him, to assure him that it's alright, that he's a brave survivor. Without him noticing, he cries too. His heart aches for Jaehyun. And there's a horror feeling imagining, what if Jaehyun gave up, his hardship ate him alive, what if Jaehyun's gone forever. It is unfair for a kind boy like Jaehyun to face all of that, and he still can't stop blaming himself. 

"Jibeom-"

Jaehyun is stunned at the sight of Jibeom clinging to him and crying like a child.

"Jaehyun, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Jaehyun's eyes that momentarily dried up, suddenly turned wet again. "Jibeom-ah.."

"I love you, Jaehyun," Jibeom says between his tears. "I don't care what you have done. It's not your mistake, in my eyes, you're a brave guy. You survive this, thank you for holding on, thank you for being strong. And this time.. This time let me protect you. I screwed up real bad, but please give me a chance. Let me make it up to you, I promise you, I won't make the same mistake."

"Jibeom-ah," Jaehyun blinks back his tears, but he fails. The thought of Jibeom willing to accept him after what he had gone through hurt him. He feels undeserved. "You deserve better."

Jibeom shakes his head, looking at the other man's face deeply. "I only want you. I loved you, I've been loving you, I love you until now you have no idea. You were my guardian angel, and now let me be yours. Please let me."

Jaehyun's defense crumbles at Jibeom's plead. How can he reject such an offer. How can he, after desperately looking for someone to hold into. Jibeom is like an angel sent from above. 

Jaehyun hugs him, and it is enough for Jibeom.

*****

"Hello. Daily Pizza here, how can I help you?"

"Hey, Donghyun."

"…"

"Hello?"

"What do you want?"

Jibeom chuckles. "So hostile to a customer."

He can imagine Donghyun rolling his eyes. "So are you going to order or ask whether Jaehyun hyung is here or not."

"So, is Jaehyun there?"

"I'll hang up the phone."

"Waittt!! I was joking. I'm planning to order."

"Tell me your order."

"1 pasta, 1 margherita pizza, large size, please add more radish and chili sauce."

"Noted."

"So is Jaehyun there?"

Donghyun's sigh is so loud he can hear it clearly on the phone, he grins. "Yes, he's here, he's talking to a handsome customer. Oh hyung, he's taller and more handsome than you. I think the customer is hitting on him. Ahh, he's so handsome, I won't blame Jaehyun hyung if he chooses him instead of a possessive guy like you-"

"Ya Kim Donghyun!!"

"I'll hang up."

Jibeom stares disbelievingly at his phone. Kim Donghyun hang up on him. And what did he say earlier? A customer flirting with Jaehyun?

"Relax," He tells himself. Donghyun can be only joking. It's not the first time he joked on something like that. However, it bothers him. 

"Huh, he should have listened to me and stop working there," He grumbles by himself. He offers to support Jaehyun, but the other man refused to give up his job in pizza house. However, Jibeom smiles at Jaehyun's cup on the counter top, and the bread leftover. He darts his eyes around his apartment, appreciating every trace of Jaehyun, reminding of their cohabitation. 

His apartment feels warm despite the chilly winter night.

After a while, he turns his focus to his laptop resuming his unfinished job. Once in a while he's glancing at the clock, waiting for Jaehyun to come back. He feels giddy as he has something for his lover.

The doorbell rings 30 minutes later, and he skips to the door.

"Why do you ring the bell- Oh.. Seungmin.."

He stops when a small guy eyeing him wearily, holding out a plastic bag containing his pizza.

"It's 20.000 won."

"Ooh.." He pulls out the money from his pocket. "Uh, why didn't Jaehyun.."

"He's off somewhere else," Seungmin says. "And stop ordering too often."

He chuckled although feeling disappointed. It's funny that after being a regular at the pizza shop for 2 years, he now knows everyone in Jaehyun's workplace, from the delivery boys to the manager.

"You have the best pizza in town."

Seungmin makes a face. "Liar. I'm going."

"Thank you! Be safe on your way back!"

He whistles cheerily while putting his pizza on dining table. Once he set the food, the sauce, and a little surprise for Jaehyun, the door opens, and Jaehyun walks in.

The man is eyeing him suspiciously. "I met Seungmin downstairs. Is that you?"

Jibeom only grins, the answer is already on their dining table.

"Jibeom," Jaehyun groans and walks in weakly after taking his shoes off. "I've told you to stop ordering pizza. No wonder Donghyun snapped at me today."

"Donghyun just needs a lover," He drags Jaehyun in and pushes him into the basin. "Go wash your hand and eat dinner."

"You know that I've work there for 4 years and I'm sick of pizza smell and you order pizza for dinner, that's so sweet of you."

Despite his complaints, Jaehyun obeys and washes his hand. Jibeom stands by his side, folding his arms across his chest.

"You know if you're sick of the smell you can stop," He carefully says. It's a sensitive issue, they've fought because of this before. Jaehyun refuses strongly to depend on him financially, but with his high school graduate status, it's hard to find a descent job. His work on the warehouse is finally dropped after some consideration.

"Are you ashamed?"

Jibeom inhales deeply. He has expected this reaction. "Of course that's not the reason," He says. "You know that, Jaehyun. I just.. I don't want to see you having hard time."

Jaehyun bites his lips, regretting his words. He knows Jibeom means well. "I know, I'm sorry.. I just… I submitted work application today, and if I'm accepted, I'll have to drop the delivery job."

"R-Really? What job?"

Jaehyun shrugs. "Just a helper in Seoul library, sorting books, or things like that. It's a 9 to 5 job, so I think maybe you'll approve it."

Jaehyun tries hard to act nonchalant, but Jibeom sees the man is anxious to know his respond. It's silly because of course he's happy. "That's great, that's really great."

"Remember it's not certain I'll get the job," Jaehyun warns him

"It's not bad trying to be positive," He smiles. Jaehyun smiles too, before his eyes dropped.

"If I'm accepted.. I'll be hard too.. I love my coworkers."

Jibeom laughs and leads Jaehyun to the dining table. "We'll order deliveries from them, and maybe have dinner there."

Jaehyun's lips twitches up. "I don't think they'll like to see you."

"They will, we're friends already," Jibeom grins. "Now open it."

He pushes the pizza box towards Jaehyun, making Jaehyun looks at him in confusion. "Now you want me to feed you?"

"No, but I'd be happy if you want to."

"Jibeom.."

"I'm joking. Just open it."

Jaehyun is eyeing him weirdly but relents. "Fine, Your Highness."

Jibeom observes his lover's expression cautiously, his hands are folded neatly on the table. Jaehyun is halfway opening the box when he stops, eyes fixed on top of the pizza. Jibeom holds his breath when Jaehyun looks at him.

Jaehyun's expression is unreadable, making Jibeom anxious.

"Do you like it?" He licks his lips nervously.

Jaehyun chews on his lips, as he carefully picks up a shiny platinum ring perched on top of the plastic pizza table. He observes the ring for a while, noticing a small diamond on the side, before lifting it up.

"Do you mean this or the pizza?"

Jibeom chuckles breathlessly. "I know you're sick of pizzas."

"And you put this inside a pizza box?" Jaehyun feels his body shakes in a foreign feeling. He can't understand himself yet. He is happy, elated, but he's not sure whether Jibeom should do this. He's afraid.

Their relationship is going well. Jaehyun has moved in to Jibeom's apartment 6 months ago, met Jibeom's parents who welcomed him, but it's still hard to comprehend. They're getting more and comfortable to each other, but there's still something separate them. 

Although Jibeom has confessed his feeling, he's afraid to take a step forward. Instead of lovers, they're more like best friends and flat mates. After losing a lot in his life, he's afraid of taking chances. Jibeom spent a lot of time convincing him to move in, and now, he would rather stay like he is than facing heartbreak of losing everything. He knows it's dangerous that each day his love to Jibeom is getting stronger. No matter how hard he tries to convince himself not to get too much invested in Jibeom, he can't stop himself. 

In the other hand, he trusts Jibeom. He wants to give this a chance. But he needs time. He is thankful that Jibeom doesn't push him out from his comfort zone, but there are times he's apologetic to Jibeom to make him wait.

"Because we can meet again, and be like this.. because of pizza."

This time Jaehyun laughs. Jibeom always amuses him with his words. "Really?"

Looking at Jaehyun's smile, Jibeom feels relieved. His smile widens. "Yes."

"So.." Jaehyun trails off, wanting to make sure that they're in the same thought, but to cowardly to say it out loud. He ends up pretending to be ignorant. "Is this a present or something? My birthday is still 2 months away."

Jibeom looks at him blankly before he sighs and stands up. "Please don't tease me," He walks towards his lover, slowly takes Jaehyun's hand which is holding the ring, then kneels down.

"Jibeom.. What are you-"

"Please marry me."

"…."

"We'll fly to Canada or Europe, wherever you want and get married. It doesn't have to be soon, a year after, 5 or 10, it's up to you. I'll be good to you, I promise."

Jaehyun bites his lips as his heart is pounding. His lips are smiling but fresh tears threatens to come out from his eyes. The sincerity of Jibeom's words makes his gut twisting, and the fact that Jibeom leaves all the decision on him is so overwhelming. Jaehyun couldn't think he can love Jibeom more than this. "Are you serious?"

"I've been thinking about this ever since I asked you to move in. I hope this won't weird you out, but I want to make you mine, and I want to be yours. I want to be with you, taking care of you, making you happy, for the rest of my life. "

Jaehyun inhales sharply. He heard those lines in dramas, he had always thought it's corny, but when the words come out from Jibeom's mouth, he can't help but tear up.

He tries to stabilize his breathing. "I'm… I'm happy but Jibeom… You really deserves better-"

Jibeom stops him, cupping Jaehyun's face. "Stop with the I deserve better bullshit, Jaehyun. I love you, only you, no one else. And nothing can change my mind. Please say yes unless you don't want me."

Jaehyun chuckles between his chocked breath. He mimics Jibeom, cupping his lover's right cheek, his thumb grazing gently on Jibeom's cheeks. 

"How can I not want you."

Jibeom smiles wide as his hope soars high. "So.. You accept me?"

It takes a few seconds for Jaehyun to answer. A few seconds feels like eternity. 

"Are you sure, Jibeom?"

"Jaehyun!" Jibeom groans desperately. "I've never been so sure-"

"Then.." He trails off, sending a shaky smile to Jibeom, and then pulls his hand away.

Jibeom feels his heart drops when their hands loses contact. But it only lasts for a second since he sees Jaehyun holding the ring with his thumb and index finger, and slowly put it on his right ring finger. 

It fits perfectly.

It has to be. A few weeks ago Jibeom had secretly measure Jaehyun's ring when the man was taking shower. 

Jibeom stares at the ring, perched nicely on Jaehyun's finger.

"I love you, Jibeom," Jaehyun says softly.

Jibeom chuckles in disbelieve. His chest is drumming in happiness. Jaehyun had been so reluctant of affection gestures and words. He knows that Jaehyun needs time, and probably scared. That's why when Jaehyun says that words.

It's the first time ever Jaehyun says he loves him, not even back then in high school. Jibeom finds himself grinning like a fool.

"I love you too.. So much.." He replies and leans forward. He's acting in impulse, and he's just realized his action when their lips are only a few centimeters apart. 

He abruptly stops.

He gazes at Jaehyun, who's looking at him back. There's no rejection, only nervousness. 

"Is this okay?" He whispers, aksing for permission.

Jaehyun smiles. 

And then their lips touch.


End file.
